How to Survive Christmas and Still be in Love

INTIMACY & CLOSENESS
How To Survive Christmas And Still Be In Love

We've had 27 Christmases together and, even though they've all looked a little different, we managed to still be in love and keep our relationship strong through each one.

We've gone through many stages of family and kids, extended family and financial challenges but a few things have helped us stay connected and strong through the silly seasons:

1. Appreciate the small things

Practicing gratefulness in the little things and a little mindfulness and you can enjoy your way through almost any Christmas craziness. Didn't get what you wanted and dropped 100 hints about? Kids going psycho on sugar and food colouring? Family member brought up that 'thing' again and decided Christmas Day was the ideal time to air it out?

Distilling the moments down to the smaller things you CAN appreciate is super helpful. Spending time together, watching your kids faces as they open the present they DID like, catching a smile on your spouse’s face, watching your teenager help clean up.

Focus on the good, the small things that lit up your day.

2. Don't assume your spouse is a mind reader

A conversation Beck had with her mum before we were married REALLY helped us in this area. I just wasn't ‘getting’ something. Beck thought I should just know it. Pick it up intuitively. That she shouldn't have to tell me at all!

It doesn't work like that. Just speak. Be kind but speak it out. Say what you'd like to happen. You have to coach your spouse on how to understand and love you. Don't be afraid to be clear, open and honest about it. Just make sure you couch it all in love.

3. Be present & engaged

Sure, get some happy snaps on your phone, a few videos of the kids together but don't get lost on your device. Put it away, lock it in your bedroom or a drawer. Or, hot tip, leave it in your wife's handbag (you may never find it again!) so you're not tempted to pull it out when your crazy Uncle Joe goes off on one of his long stories!

Be present with your spouse and family and just be in the moment with them.

4. Value family

Every family is funky. It's just how it is. Not everyone gets along all the time. But that doesn't mean we should write off the season or just endure whatever time we have to spend together. Value it. See it as an opportunity to build each relationship a little more. Ask questions and don't tune out to the answers. Probe a little more.

Beck’s dad died last November. This will be our 2nd Christmas without him and there will definitely be a tinge of sadness, especially for my wife and her mum.

Value the time you get with your family. You never know how long you'll have to appreciate and get to know them.

5. Create memories

Do something different. Get on the trampoline with your kids. Play some cricket or soccer. Get involved. Don't hide away in the warm or cool. Take a big family selfie or some group photos. Set up a photo booth or take video interviews asking funny questions.Then, create an album on Google Photos or whatever you use and send out links so everyone can view.What can you do to create some great memories with your tribe this Christmas.

We hope you and your family have a wonderful break!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Love from Darren & Beck Chapman

TRY THIS
Have a Sneaky Christmas Date

In my office are 2 vouchers to VERY nice restaurants just sitting there that we can’t find the time or energy to use! My goal is to use one of them before New Year.

How can you sneak away for a bit of time together? When would it work? Prioritising time together through this season is going to be really important for your sense of connectedness and enjoyment.

DATE NIGHTS
End of Year Date Night Questions

• What goals do you have for 2024?

• How did we go in our connection and intimacy this year?

• What changes do we want to make for our relationship?

• How can we spice up our sex life?

• What are some dates you’d like to try next year?

• Where will we holiday in 2024?

• How will we ensure we wont drift apart?

• What is one thing we did really well in 2023?

• What is one thing you’d like me to work on?