// VISION
"Lovers and Best Friends"... the simple vision that shaped our marriage

It's a bit of a weird question, we know. "Do you have a vision for your marriage?"

When most of us hear the word vision, we think about business plans, church, leadership or seeing the optometrist.. But here’s the truth: your marriage needs vision just as much as anything else in your life.

Without it, you risk some of the biggest dangers in marriage today: drift, survival mode, going solo or settling for a sub-par relationship.

Not because you don’t love each other, but because the years roll on, the kids grow, work is busy, and suddenly you wake up one day feeling like housemates rather than partners.

Ever felt like that before? We have.
Vision is what helps stop you from drifting apart.

What do we mean by “vision”?

Vision is simply this: a clear sense of the future you’re building together. Not just some vague idea of romance or “growing old together” … but being intentional about two very specific, important things:

• The kind of relationship you want to have.
  Do you want a playful, lighthearted marriage? A steady, peaceful home? A passionate, adventurous connection? What do you want it to feel like when you walk in the door after work?

• What you want to achieve together.
  Beyond surviving the calendar and paying the bills, what legacy do you want to leave? What’s the contribution you want to make to your kids, your community and the world?

We like to think of these as the two lenses of vision:

1. Relationship Lens – the emotional climate and daily rhythms of your marriage.

2. Achievement Lens – the bigger picture of what you’ll accomplish and build together.

Why it matters

No one wants to find themselves in 2, 5, or 10 years from now in 2 different places in life because they've been wandering in different directions for years.

Vision keeps you close. It helps you say “no” to distractions and “yes” to what matters most. And it gives you a sense of together momentum — the feeling that you’re not just married, you’re building something purposeful and incredible side-by-side.

Take a moment, right now if possible, and ask yourself these questions:

• What do I want our relationship to look like and feel like?

• What were my original dreams for us when we got married?

• How have those dreams changed or matured over time?

• What do I want the emotional climate of our relationship to be? How connected do I want us to be day-to-day?

• What do I want us to achieve in the next 5 years? 20 years?

• How will we make sure we're going in the same direction year after year?

Final thought

Happy, healthy marriages don’t happen by accident. They happen because couples CHOOSE a shared direction and keep walking it out together. And, when something changes, they talk about it, updating their vision on the fly together.

So... do you have a vision for your marriage? If not, try the activity below and get started this week! Also, read more about vision here:

// TRY THIS
The Vision Entreè Conversation

Book a night, just the 2 of you... on the lounge or on a date somewhere you can talk. Ask each other these three questions to help uncover your shared future and be prepared to take notes!

1. In 10 years’ time, when our kids or friends describe our marriage, what do we hope they say?

2. What’s one big dream we’ve stopped talking about?

3. What would make our everyday marriage feel more connected, enjoyable and close?

Don’t worry about having perfect answers. The goal is to start the conversation. This is just the entreè!

// VISION
Date Night Questions

• What's one dream you've never shared with me?

• How have we changed over the years we've been married?

• How can we make sure we're growing closer year after year?

• Do we spend enough quality time together to achieve our dreams?

• What's one BIG thing we could do together? (think big, go crazy!)

• What's a dream you've had to let die over the years? Are you ok with that? Can we revive it together?

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