When your marriage feels one-sided...

Five things you can do right now to help move your marriage back towards togetherness

Author

Darren Chapman
September 16, 2023

Hey, 283 friends. I hope this email finds you both well! I’m still working on the ideal format for this newsletter so hit reply if you like or hate it 🙂 

One thing - What to do in a one-sided marriage.

Kylie and James have been married for 7 years and their relationship has gone stale. They have a son who is 4. It’s almost guaranteed that once Kylie gets home from work James will be sitting on the lounge on his phone. She has no idea what he does there for the next hour, but it’s driving her crazy. They normally say hello and she leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then it’s generally dinner prep for her and whatever on his phone for him. Sometimes he’ll play with their son but often the 4-year-old is somewhere on his own iPad. 

Kylie feels like the relationship is becoming more and more one-sided. When asked to clarify she would say that it’s only been in the last 6 months and her problem is about the effort James is not putting into almost everything. He’s not engaging like he normally would with her, their son or the household in general.

What can she do? Marriage and family is a team sport. We need every person to play their part. So, what do we do when it feels like we are doing all the work? Is there anything we can do apart from nag and fight about it?

Yes and absolutely. Let’s talk about how we foster togetherness and unity and bring the love and teamwork back.

One thing to do.

Try this… especially if you’re not the affectionate one. Reach out and give your spouse a big hug and a kiss. Linger and don’t rush off. Feel the connection grow between you in that single moment.

One Date Night thing.

The seasons have just changed. Brainstorm 5 date night ideas for the next season. Here in Australia, it’s Spring but it feels a bit like Summer already. I’m thinking of walks on the beach and going out for brekky.

What about you guys?

Here are 2 resources that will help.

- Unity Snapshot Survey - Download this, and print 2 copies. Fill it out separately. Discuss your answers together with the view to getting more on the same page about your life and relationship.

- Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy - Our favourite podcast on how to keep things hot in your marriage for life!

Until next month, stay close!

Darren Chapman

PS. Forward this to someone who might love it!
PPS. Want to join the newsletter? Click here.