// ANNOUNCEMENT
Join the Waitlist today!

If you’d like to never fight about housework again this is for you. In this video-based mini-course, we’ll cover mental load, teamwork and how equality, fairness and generosity can work together. Plus we’ll give you a PDF worksheet and a conversation guide to help you achieve housework happiness!

But, firstly, we’d love to hear from you! Join the waitlist below and answer a few multiple-choice questions to help us.

// PERSONAL
Do These Two Things to Increase Marriage Satisfaction

Everyone wants a happy relationship. I don't think we expect a fairytale but we all want to be happy, at least some of the time! Relationship satisfaction is dependent on a number of factors but there are some simple ways to increase it.

I love this quote:

“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” - G.K. Chesterton

The best way to desire less isn't to magically start expecting less from your spouse. "Maybe if I expect them to not contribute at all, I'll be happy when they do anything around the house!"

Instead, it's to become grateful.

# 1. Practicing gratefulness is a simple, powerful key to relationship happiness

Gratefulness is the hack you need to try.  It's the antidote to comparison. Cultivate a mindset of appreciation. Train yourself to be thankful instead.

Instead of what? Instead of comparing and complaining.

Here’s what being grateful does in the moment.  It helps you switch gears in your mind from everything you’re NOT receiving or experiencing to everything you ARE.  It’s a game-changing mind shift.  It’s a necessary brain pathway you need to create if it’s not already there.

Let's try it for a second.

Think about a few things you are truly thankful for regarding your spouse.

Don't focus on what you want to fix. Move past any frustrations for a moment. What do you truly love about them?

Maybe they:

• are really great with the kids

• take you on wonderful dinner dates

• are a good provider for the household

• give great massages

• are excellent with money

• tidy up after themselves

• have learned to cook

• respect you in front of their parents

• are a great kisser

Gratefulness is also a hack when you're tempted to compare your spouse with someone else. Instead of focusing on what the other person seems to have going for them, switch gears and remember the amazing things you already have in your spouse.

Cultivate a heart and a mind of gratefulness. It's a powerful key to greater happiness in your marriage.

Ok, Chesterton, what was that first thing you said? That's right... accumulate more.

But instead of just doing more of what you're already doing (isn't that a definition of insanity?) this requires some thought and a little bit of effort.

It's getting more intentional about your life together.

# 2. Becoming intentional is an effective, game changer for marital satisfaction

We get it. We go into autopilot at times too. Life gets busy, there's more on your plate and less for each other. Actually... check out last month’s newsletter for how to fix that!

And, before you know it you feel more like housemates than lovers. You've stopped doing some of the little things that add up to a beautiful life together. You don't kiss before bed, hug in the kitchen, debrief the day over a glass of wine or check in over text in the middle of the day.

We let life wear us down and the sad part is that it's our marriages that often take a back seat. They are the first thing to be neglected.

Solution?

Get intentional again!

What if you upped your game and had the following areas of your life and marriage humming?

1. Feeling connected even when you're apart

2. Food, meal plans and dinner prep

3. Sex, affection and physical touch

4. Sevice-free focused connection time

5. Engaging with the kids

6. Housework, mental load and teamwork

Here are a bunch of ways you can get intentional in these different aspects of your marriage (the number links to the aspect above)

1. Set a reminder in your phone to check-in around 1pm every day with your spouse (or in your coffee or lunch break). Tell them you're thinking of them and are looking forward to the evening together.

2. Make a meal plan for the next week OR offer to pick up the groceries and put them away OR make dinner and do a full clean up just out of love!

3. Ensure you are touching your spouse several times a day. Pull them in for a hug. Initiate sex. Hold hands. This is especially powerful if you're not the one with physical touch love language!

4. Put your device on charge somewhere after work and sit and simply chat with your spouse. Make a drink for both of you and sit in the loungeroom and ask about their day. Ask open-ended questions and see where the conversation rolls.

5. I realised when we had young kids that when I got home it wasn't time to put my feet up. It was time to engage! How do you connect with your kids? How do you love them? How do you love your spouse by giving them kid time and kid-free time?

6. We're passionate about this one. Housework harmony. How can you get more intentional about doing your share... and then blessing your spouse by doing some of theirs? What's on your list? What do you hate doing? Do that first. Set a day and a time that you'll do what you said you would.

Intentionality helps prevent us from drifting apart.

How will you up your game this season?

So… go for it! Gratefulness and intentionality. We have found both of these helps us experience greater joy and satisfaction in our marriage.

// TRY THIS
Something New to Try

1. Write a list of at least 10 things you are grateful about your spouse

2. Write your spouse a note. Mention some of those things.

3. THANK your spouse for something at random. (bonus points if it’s not directly after they did it!)

// DATE NIGHTS
Date Night Questions

• What are you grateful for in life right now?

• What are the best things about our marriage?

• What have we let slip?

• How's our level of connection day to day?

• How could we be more intentional in our marriage?

// AFFILIATE LINK

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